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The Challenges of Coping With the Death of a Boyfriend or Girlfriend
Posted: 3/28/2014 | Relationships Comments
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Love and loss are an integral part of the human experience. Whether you’re married or not, the death of someone you’re in a relationship with is a difficult and painful experience. Even without a wedding ring, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—still apply.

However, grieving the loss of someone you were in a relationship with for 10 weeks is likely to be a very different experience than grieving the loss of someone you were with for 10 years. So if you’ve lost someone you were in a brand new relationship with and yet feel absolutely devastated, then something else might be going on along with the grief. It might be helpful to look into these other sensations, emotions, thoughts, and memories that are exacerbating the grief. 

We live in a culture that doesn’t support our experience of grief. We aren’t taught to embrace and explore the emotions that allow us to move through the natural process of our loss. Nor are we taught how to support those who are grieving.

So if people expect you to bounce back faster because the person you lost wasn’t your spouse, gently remind them of how long you two had been together. Please be kind to yourself and know that grieving is natural, and it takes time. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, and through the grieving process be sure to take extra special care of your body by getting plenty of rest, eating well, and exercising.

Grief provides a profound opportunity to expedite our growth and deepen our compassion,
for ourselves and other people. It can be a life-altering opportunity to further our personal evolution and expansion, if we allow ourselves the experience. Grief can open our heart and unfold an even greater capacity to love.

 

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