Posted: 9/19/2014 | Relationships	Comments
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In other blogs we were looking at the value of being curious in life, as well as being curious in the beginning of relationships and in long term relationships.

Being curious about any red flags that might come up when you are in relationships can help inform you on what needs to be done.

In Red Flags in Relationships (Part 1) we explored the importance of noticing those red flags and how being curious about them can help build intimacy and alert you to potential troubles down the road.

It can be confusing to know what you are seeing in those red flags. Is it such a serious problem that you need to walk away from the relationship? Or is it something that once talked about becomes a small bump in the road?  That’s why knowing yourself, asking questions, and getting to know the other person is paramount. 

Some people see the red flags and experience gut reactions about someone, and yet don’t listen to either of them. Whether you are in a new relationship or sense something wrong in a long-term relationship, it’s worth paying attention to what is bothering you. All of us have access to a higher/deeper wisdom that can guide us if we are listening.

What is your part in this red flag and what is theirs?

Remember, our inner reactions are not dictated only by what someone else does at any given moment, but also by what this behavior, energy, or tone of voice, triggers inside of us.

As we get to know our triggers and work with ourselves, we deepen our trust and knowledge of ourselves. As a result we become more inwardly informed on what outward actions we want and need to take.

Someone’s misbehavior or action doesn’t have to lead to an automatic triggered reaction for us. As we become more aware and conscious, we have a choice to respond rather than react to them.

If you do blow off your gut reaction, and ignore the signs you’re seeing, it would be helpful to understand why. It would seem that you may not trust yourself and your inner knowing enough. That’s why being curious about your perceptions and observations are so important.

A friend told me about having a major red flag experience with someone in the first couple weeks while dating and she completely ignored it. She didn’t trust it enough to ask questions of herself or the other person. She then had a horrible, frightening, "seemed so real" dream about him, but still ignored it because she thought there was nothing about him she could put her finger on that was causing these feelings. This meant she didn’t trust her gut reaction or the red flags.

Later on she found out her inner wisdom was trying to tell her something that could have been avoided if she'd only taken those flags seriously. I’m sure you have heard about other people who could see more clearly in hind sight.

If you do tend to doubt yourself, it might help to look into the cause from the past and do some work on lessening your load. What is it from the past causing you to doubt and not trust your inner knowing?

Suggestion: Each day practice becoming more aware and conscious of what your gut is telling you and then notice what happens. You can strengthen your connection to your higher/deeper wisdom.

Looking closely at Chapter 5 of Your Ultimate Life Plan, can help you deepen you connection to your deeper/higher wisdom.

Can you think of time when a red flag prompted your curiosity to open and ask questions in order to get to know someone better? Your comments make a difference for us all.

For further information on accessing the wisdom, happiness, fulfillment, and peace you desire, click here to learn about Dr. Howard's Multiple Award Winning Book "Your Ultimate Life Plan: How to Deeply Transform Your Everyday Experience and Create Changes That Last.

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