Posted: 4/15/2014 | Relationships	Comments
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Do you feel unsure about the relationship you’re currently in? Do you have doubts? You might think, “It seems right, but how can I know for sure?”

If you need confirmation that you’re in the right relationship, then it’s helpful to take a step back and look at what’s going on. It’s important to see what’s going on inside of you, as well as what’s happening in the relationship.

What doubts are you having and why? Is this a long-standing fear for you or is this something you don’t normally experience? In other words, is this your pattern around relationships or is it something new? You’ll want to discern what might be a historical fear for you versus some wise inner voice telling you to beware. And it could be both, so take some time to be with yourself to know what is right for you.

Is this your fear of being close to another person, your fear of intimacy, fear of connection, fear of commitment, or fear of losing yourself? Do you feel unworthy of this person, or are they not good enough for you?

Which of their behaviors feel uncomfortable or out of alignment with you? Have you talked about them? When you think about this person, do you feel happy about who they are to you and to others? Do you respect what they do in their life, around work, relationships, or in general? Would you feel good about introducing them to your friends and family?

As you become more fully conscious, present, and intimate with your own thoughts and feelings about yourself and your relationship, your capacity and ability to be more fully present and deeply intimate with your partner also grows.

For now, here are 5 signs that might help you decide you’re in the right relationship:

1) You feel relaxed and at home with them. Your partner feels comfortable, and you can be yourself.

2) You look forward to seeing them. You love to spend time together, even if it’s cleaning out a closet.

3) You’re able to work through differences as they arise. You know that if you come to an impasse, you'd both be willing to get professional help in order to work it out.

4) You have a natural rhythm together. Even if one of you likes to stay up later than the other, it just flows. One of you might stay up later and clean up after dinner, while the other gets up earlier and makes the coffee in the morning.

5) You’re able to find the humor even when things are hard. You’re respectful of each other, yet are also able to see and appreciate moments of lightness and levity. 

How have you known when someone is the “one?”

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photo credit David Castillo Dominici via FreeDigitalPhotos.net